Marriage is a wonderful experience and can be the highlight to many people’s lives. However, at the opposite side to this spectrum is filing for divorce. No doubt there is a lot of tension felt, not just between the previously happy couple, but also where the kids are concerned if there are kids, or where family members are concerned. When there are kids involved too, it can take a great toll in terms of mental, emotional and even physical health.

Unfortunately, divorce can be described as the utmost termination to a union. The cancellation of legal responsibilities and of duties, and a disolving of the matrimonial bonds – forever together for richer for poorer. Maybe not!

Legalities may also come down to issues of child custody and support, spousal support, and distributions of properties, belongings and of any debt too.

Once again, when children are involved, you could be looking at a very long and drawn out process to decide who gets custody and for how many hours per week should each parent be allowed to spend with their own kids. Side effects however, can be very damaging, which is why many couples tend to live it out together even when things at home are tumultuous. For the better of the kids.

However, there could well be support to be gained from the kids schools too. Now-a-days, its not uncommon to find schools that have child support facilities and counseling departments. In fact, there is often a small network of highly qualified individuals who are able to help in such traumatic times as divorce and children.

Kids can indeed become distant and ditached from both parents, which in turn can place even more burden on the parents. Thus any support gained from the school or otherwise should be gratefully received.

Causes that Lead to Divorce

There are of course many reasons and causes for divorce. Each couple is somewhat different to the next. According to a study carried out in the US on an annual basis by the consultant Grant Thorton, who has conducted interviews with countless matrimonial lawyers, the main reasons (if a single reason can indeed be labeled) are the following:

-  adultery, extramarital sex and infidelity count as 27% of reasons given for divorce proceedings

-  domestic violence comes in next at 17% of total

-  midlife crisis was blamed by 13% of cases

-  addictions such as alcoholism and gambling (albeit totally different types of addiction) gained 6% of the blame

-  and finally, workaholism was labeled as being joint 4th most important reason for divorce at also 6% share

Divorce rates – at least in the US – are said to be on the rise. The reasons are listed above, but also much of the blame is given to the fact that still too many people get married when they are too young to fully comprehend the responsibilities of a solid and happy marriage. These individuals may be somewhat experienced in the dating game, but dating cannot be compared with taking your marriage vows.

Get Support When Facing Divorce

When going through a divorce, its very wise indeed to get support from family, from friends, and from professionals too. A good lawyer is importnant for obvious reasons but furthermore – divorce lawyers have seen this scenario time and time again, so they are often a great port of call to not only take care of the legalities but to discuss a variety of issues surrounding the divorce.

Its never going to be easy to discuss with any children involved the reasons for divorce, but it is important that they understand, or at least are informed, about the reasons for their parents splitting and going their separate ways. The fact that the kids are involved in this way can be very helpful for them to come to terms with what’s going on between their parents.

What Happens After Divorce

Whilst many adults find it relatively easy to pick up the pieces upon separation from their spouses, and thus begin to think about dating once again, others struggle to come to terms with it and continually struggle with such a tragic loss in life.

Some individuals prefer not to be seen to be moving on with their lives too soon for fear of criticism or hurting any children that may be involved. For example, if there are kids involved, it may seem somewhat crass and unforgivable to be seen to be dating a new partner just weeks after splitting up from mom or from dad. A lot of confusion can be experienced if the kids are to see mom or dad with a new “close friend” in their lives.

Children of divorce can take a long time to recover, so even though mom and/or dad are desperately keen to move on with their lives, care and attention should be given to the kids at least to some extent.